The attached news was sent to MyBribieIsland and we felt it just had to be shared.  It explains a lot about puzzling decisions made by all levels of government.

What is the experience of MBI readers?  Have readers have any experience with the impact of Gevernmentium and Administratium?  Have readers observed the effects of Politicsium or Stupidium or Porkbarrlinium in the decisions made by our governments?

Editor, MyBribieIsland


Readers of MyBribieIsland have often written about their frustrations with the slow rate of actions by Governments at all levels and the seemingly random directions those actions can take. Some recent research by Australian scientists may help readers make sense of their experiences.

Australian researchers have recently discovered the heaviest elements yet known to science. Their discovery is of particular relevance to those who have significant involvement with our Federal Government and/or are receiving support from the Federal Government.

The new element, Governmentium (symbol Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert, and is extremely slow moving. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. In the presence of just a tiny amount of Governmentium, a reaction or decision that would normally take less than a second to complete will take 4 days to 4 years to complete. In some cases, it may never be completed.

Governmentium does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation after some years in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. In this reorganisation, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks; but twice as many morons. Researchers have shown that activities affected by Governmentium and Administratium will generally continue in their normal direction albeit at a much slower pace.

But recent Australian research shows that directions of routine reactions and activities can be radically altered by the presence of three elements that are becoming increasingly common – Politicsium (Symbol Pu), Stupidium (Symbol St) and Porkbarrelinium (Symbol Pk). These elements have the effect of completely changing the direction of any activity they become associated with. Outcomes that are affected by these elements can often bear no relation to previous decisions and outcomes – even though the circumstances may be exactly the same. This randomness becomes even more marked when money accompanies the decision making.

I hope that this helps explain the difficulties some readers might have with our Government when waiting for decisions on questions, and in understanding the length of time taken to answer even the most trivial of queries. It may also explain why those decisions, when they are finally made, make no sense whatsoever.

MyBribieIsland Reader